Chris Voss Show Interview | Simple & Deep™Nov 10, 2023
As a child, I struggled with insecure attachment and the impact it had on my relationships and interactions with others. However, through my own journey of healing and self-reflection, I discovered the transformative power of re-wiring the brain.
In a recent interview with the Chris Voss Show, I explored the impact of these teachings and how we can apply them in our own lives to break the cycle of trauma and create healthier relationships. This is one of the stops on my current Podcast Tour for Waiting for Mister Rogers: Teaching with Attachment, Attunement, and Intention, released on September 26th, 2023 with Morgan James Publishing.
Attachment styles formed in childhood continue to influence how we relate to others throughout our lives.
This means that the early childhood experiences we have with our caregivers can shape our adult relationships. Insecure attachment can manifest in various ways, such as a fear of intimacy, emotional dysregulation, difficulty trusting others, and overly dependent relationships.
One of Mister Rogers’ teachings that can help create secure attachments is the importance of eye contact. Not only does eye contact help develop communication skills, but it also creates a sense of connection and attunement between individuals. Mr. Rogers often emphasized the importance of paying attention and being attuned to the needs of others. When we feel understood and heard, we are more likely to feel secure and form healthy attachments.
Insecure attachment can lead to behavioral addictions and relationship challenges.
For example, individuals with avoidant attachment styles may struggle with alcohol or substance abuse to cope with their emotions. Those with anxious attachment styles may have a pattern of seeking reassurance and validation from others, leading to codependent relationships. Recognizing and addressing these patterns can help individuals break free from negative cycles and create healthier relationships.
Healing from insecure attachment requires self-reflection, seeking support, and rewriting our own stories.
This means taking the time to understand our attachment styles and how they influence our behavior. Additionally, seeking support from trusted individuals, such as a therapist or mentor, can help us break free from old patterns and establish new, healthy relationships. Finally, rewriting our story means acknowledging past traumas and reframing them as opportunities for growth and healing.
Mister Rogers’ model of secure attachment still offers a powerful framework for understanding ourselves and creating healthy relationships. By focusing on attunement, emotional expression, and self-reflection, we can break free from negative cycles and create the secure, healthy relationships we deserve.
Remember, love and attachment repair are a choice – it’s up to us to choose growth, healing, and transformation.
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