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How Our Early Bonding Influences the Rest of Our Lives

attachment attachment styles attachment theory attunement children connection teaching Feb 10, 2021
What is Attachment?

Understanding Attachment Theory and Its Impact on Your Life

Attachment is the bond or connection that we have with our primary caregivers. It’s a relationship that shapes our brains and influences how we see the world. According to therapist Adam Young, it shapes our ability to regulate emotions, be aware of them, rebound from distress or tragedy, and ultimately relate to others throughout our lives. In this post, we’ll explore attachment theory—what it is and how it can shape a person’s life.

What is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory was first developed by scientists who wanted to understand why some children are willing to jump into the world while others fear or feel anxious in new situations. They wanted to uncover what happens when children experience chaos or unpredictability in their first three years of life. How does an unpredictable environment change a child?


Through extensive research, they discovered that there are four basic attachment styles for children—Secure, Avoidant, Anxious/Ambivalent, and Disorganized/Disoriented—and that these styles can shape how a person interacts with the world around them. Securely attached children can trust in relationships and explore their environment confidently; avoidant children tend to be emotionally distant from parents and peers; anxious/ambivalent children tend to rely heavily on parents for emotional support; disorganized/disoriented children often show signs of confusion and difficulty regulating emotions.


Understanding Your Attachment Style

It's important to understand your attachment style as an adult to understand yourself better and how you interact with others. To do this, consider any events in your childhood where you felt unsafe or unsupported by your caregiver(s). These events may have had a lasting impact on your attachment style, manifesting in adulthood through self-doubt, feelings of betrayal or abandonment by friends or family members, difficulty trusting people, etc. By understanding your attachment style more deeply, you can begin working towards healing any unresolved trauma within yourself.


Attachment theory is important when considering how our early environments shaped us into who we are today. By understanding our attachment styles better, we can gain insight into our patterns of relating to others throughout our lives. This knowledge will help us develop healthier relationships with ourselves and those around us so we can live fulfilled lives full of trust, compassion, empathy, and understanding for ourselves and others! 


Interested in learning more about Attachment Styles?  Check out my Digital Course.

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